My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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