his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
