Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
