Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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