And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
