That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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