What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
