Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.