he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
