So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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