found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize