Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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