My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Randomize
