Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
