And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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