Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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