similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
