People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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