So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize