My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
