So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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