I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
