is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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