Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
