Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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