i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Still dying that you shit outside
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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