like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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