Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
