Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize