can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
