Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
