The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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