Plan B is the new Plan A
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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