Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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