So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
