So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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