I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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