He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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