you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
