Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
