Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
