someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
