This girl is more easily done than said...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
