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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap

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• (562): View more from California

  not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?

  (1+44): View more from

  Which pub are you in?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  That is beautiful

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments

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