She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
