Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
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EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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