no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
