I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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