Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
