right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
