I hate all girls vehemently.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize