party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
operation harelip BJ is a go
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
