I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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