My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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