I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
