You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
