if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize