M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize