I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
