i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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