i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
