don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
