There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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