You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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