dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
